Week 9 - More Questions than Answers

 April 16 – April 20

We are looking at expanding TAFCOM’s micro-loan program for small businesses as this seems like an empowering way to provide a more stable income for the women of Pasua and their families. At the least, families will be able to pay for food and rent. We hope that eventually money can also be saved to cover school fees for their children. We have decided to add a small interest rate that will be set aside in case of emergencies. One of the most difficult obstacles occurs when someone becomes ill. Unless there is another family member to help, the business must temporarily shut down meaning there is no income until the person is well again.

In addition, we will try to organize a workshop on business management, budgeting and saving. As we have been updating the home-based profiles I have become aware that there are many women who could benefit from a micro-loan. I feel that this strategy is the best way to increase a family’s chance of improving their lives. Each loan is for 100,000 TSh (approx. &70 USD) with 5% interest. Loans are paid back in either a 6 or 12 month time frame.  Of all the profiles I read, every one of the women had repaid 100% of their loan.

Tuesday we spent visiting our families. Juma has everything in place to start her charcoal and firewood business. We provided her with the startup funds. It was the first time I have seen her smile. She was so grateful. She also said that she had been using the wrap on her leg and it is helping. I asked Nie to find out if Juma’s daughter’s school fees were current and they are not. We will help with the fees next time we see her. Her daughter is a very good student and enjoys school. We will return next week to see how her business is going.

We were going to start our life history with Veronica but when we got there she was in bed and two neighbors were there. Her breathing was very labored. The neighbors had taken her to the hospital but they neither had the medicine or the injection she needed. The one neighbor is able to give her the injection so we gave him funds for both. We did not stay long because she was tired and not feeling well. We are taking pictures for the profiles and when we asked Veronica she said that other volunteers had taken her picture but no one had given her a copy. I promised to make sure she has her own picture and we agreed to come back next Tuesday. Tonight Nie will return to Veronica’s with her inhalers. We are buying two so she has an extra.

I asked Nie how Veronica could raise two grandchildren with her health being so poor. There are neighbors who provide support and look in on the family but the children are basically raising themselves. They are 4 and 11.

Ester was not home so Nie left a message with a neighbor to have her come to Nie’s house. We want to make sure there is another food stand nearby so she can expand her business.

Salma and Daughter at Food Stand

Salma, her daughter and granddaughter were all outside by their food stand and Nie spoke privately with Salma.  We are going to put a plan together for a microloan so Salma and her daughter can expand their existing business and the granddaughter will help and hopefully save for school. The money that is repaid will also be set aside for the granddaughter to eventually attend hotel management school.

I talked with Nie about the feelings of hopelessness and discouragement. She said that for many people this is a constant state of mind. It is only when a person knows where their meals are coming from for several days that they can think about the future. She reiterated that they all want schooling and a better life for their children. It is so difficult when they can’t afford to continue a child’s education past primary school. These people have a strength that keeps them going day after day. Faith seems to be very important also and I will explore this topic another time. After our conversation we had been walking in silence for a few minutes when we passed a school. Nie remarked that the children just said, “We all have a right to an education. Good Morning, teacher.”  How fitting!

Boys Holding Hands

Note: On one of our daladala trips (the transportation van) there were 29 people. This is the record so far. I thought it was packed at 27 and could not believe the vehicle stopped and squished 2 more people on. People will hold someone else’s child or their basket of produce if they have to stand. Elbows, shoulders and heads are in everyone’s personal space. It is such an amazing experience. I look forward to my rides. So far I have only had to stand and hunch over for a short while until a seat became available. Personal space is also interesting. I am not sure it is much of a concept. I often see men and boys holding hands or sitting with an arm around a shoulder. Women and girls do the same. No one seems to care how close they get to each other. PDA is frowned upon, however. I have not even observed signs of affection between Ibrah and Deborah. That being said, they have what appears to be a very strong relationship.

Children with Porridge

Wednesday we went to the Children’s center. I finished up with some pictures we needed and read to the kids. It is always refreshing to spend time with them. Their smiles are infectious!

When we returned from the Children’s Center we stopped at Mwezi Hospital to visit Mwamini and Rose. (the 9 month old baby discussed last week) Rose has pneumonia and an intestinal infection. She is on some kind of IV drip. (I don’t think much is shared by the doctors and nurses because it there is very vague information about her care.) Mwamini is unable to go home as there is not staff to watch over the or feed the children. Nie visited the family the previous evening and found the children to be alone. She contacted the 17 year old daughter and firmly informed her that she has to be responsible for these children while her mother is in the hospital and she should also go see her mother. Nie also made it clear to Mwamini that she needed to tell her daughter to look after the children. There are some neighbors currently checking on the children, making sure the house is safe at night and the children get up for school. Nie has provided food and we will support the family until they can get back on their feet. Because she is at the hospital, Mwamini is unable to sell her soaps.

Rose was wrapped in the blanket we gave her but was dressed in light clothing. Mwamini explained that Rose had vomited on her only sweater. Nie and I gave her all the money we had so she could buy food.

After returning home I went to the market and bought some baby clothes and a small stuffed frog.

Thursday – It has rained very hard the last two nights which is much needed. Many people say they enjoy the rainy season because there is so much sunshine at other times of the year and they welcome the change! That would certainly not be my way of thinking…

We returned to the hospital with the clothing and Mwamini was grateful and said they would definitely fit Rose. The ward was being cleaned so all the people were out of the room. Rose looked better today. Her eyes seem clearer and she is more alert. How conflicted Mwamini must be not really knowing how her children at home are doing mixed with the concern and uncertainty of Rose’s health.

Upendo Orphanage

New Blankets for Infants at Upendo

Amanda and I went to Upendo Orphanage this afternoon. We will volunteer on Thursday afternoons. It is a Catholic orphanage and although lacking in many things, it is much nicer than any I have experienced in the past. There are 55 children ages birth to 5 years old. 22 are under 2 years old and there are 4 infants. They employ 6 staff who work directly with the children and also have students from an area child care training center. We had a tour and then spent some time with the kids. They totally hung all over us fighting for any inch of body space they could get to.

Friday  - Went to the hospital and brought diapers. Rose did not look so good and Mwamini appeared very weary. Apparently the blood test done on Thursday showed something and Rose will be transferred to KCMC on Sunday or Monday after she has completed the current round of IV medicine. (still don’t know what it is) The diagnosis is also unknown; Mwamini will be meeting with the doctor. Nie told Mwamini that she must take care of herself to be strong and able to care for Rose. Nie will visit her Saturday and Sunday.

This was an emotional week so I stopped at a coffee house Friday afternoon for a snack and journaled most of what follows:

Laundry Facility at St. Joseph's

Wheelchairs

Mawezi Hospital is a government run hospital. Tanzania also has private hospitals but most of them also receive some government support. My visit to St. Joseph’s (private hospital) was a step back in time but this was deplorable. Unfortunately it would have been awkward taking pictures. The pediatric ward had 18 beds. They were metal and very old with a foam mattress, a pad and one sheet. Nothing else is provided and the family member must be with the child at all times. There are food vendors at the entrance to the hospital so families can buy food for themselves and the patients. However, since the children cannot be left alone (especially babies), Mwamini must take Rose with her each time she makes a purchase. The child has pneumonia and it has rained this week so it has been damp and there is a chill to the air. Also when the ward is cleaned, which is daily, the families and patients must wait outside or in another area.

As trained and experienced as I am in social work, I cannot imagine the emotional toll this kind of work must take on Nie. It is so very painful. She says that sometimes she just has to stop everything and walk away for a while. I am fortunate in that I can pace myself in terms of my exposure. Nie is only 35 but one of the wisest and strongest women I have ever known. She is one of the unsung heroines of the struggle to end poverty.

How can anyone understand this when we don’t live it? What kind of world do we live in that allows people to live in these conditions while others flaunt their jewels and fancy cars? I never knew the depth of my compassion until I came here. The compassion I feel has also given rise to an even stronger feeling of love for these people. I sometimes wish I could just hold the whole nation in my arms and gently rock them into contentment.

I remember well that when returning to the US after my previous (and very short) trips, I had difficulty with feeling sympathy for the struggles of some Americans as they seemed petty and irrelevant. I want to embrace my current feelings of compassion and love and be able to carry them with me for all situations I encounter. I do understand that everything is relative and hope that I can continue to hold onto these feelings at home with the knowledge that everyone experiences life differently and we are all at different places on the roads of our lives.

I have always had trouble with our materialistic consumer-driven society so I know that this will continue to be bothersome. I may have to learn to bite my tongue and staying away from TV definitely helps. The other day the TV was on during lunch. The program featured various new and innovative products from somewhere in Asia. One item would help with arches and leg muscles. The concept was the same thing as standing on the stairs and raising and lowering your arches. Hard to imagine you could not find stairs or a curb for this one. Next was a segment on rulers. They were made with various materials; what I would call “designer rulers”. I would love to have seen the prices as I am sure the cost of one could have fed one of our families for a week.

While at the Aroma Coffee House journaling a woman walked by with her young son (5 or 6). I said, “Jambo” so she stopped and helped her son practice his greetings. He was pretty shy but did a good job. Greetings are very important here and always take place before any other exchange, even in stores. It is also fairly common that a mom will encourage their child in a greeting with a muzungo. It feels as good as a hug!!!

So I will end this week with hugs to all……….. and these words from a favorite website of mine. (www.dailyword.com) Each day presents a different affirmation.

World Peace

I hold in my heart the same teaching shared by all the world's religions: to treat others with the same loving-kindness I would like to receive myself. I am gentle and loving to the people I encounter, and I know consciousness will be shared with others. 

Mt. Kilimanjaro from Moshi

It matters not where someone lives, how they dress, what language they speak, or how they worship. The differences that divide us pale in comparison to the similarities we share. We all grieve losses, celebrate joys, love our families, and hope for better days for our children. I value the lives of my neighbors around the world. The peace we all wish for depends upon the attitude and actions of each one of us. When I treat others with the same loving-kindness i would like to receive, I contribute to that peace.